Gary’s Q&A

Listener question & Gary’s response · Transcript passage

Jerry Gardner asks, “Did you dress up for Halloween? If so, who or what? Instead of handing out candy, did you give trick-or-treaters cards with fun facts on them?

No, I haven’t dressed up for Halloween in probably 25 years. That isn’t to say I never will, but I’ve spent a lot of the last several years in places that didn’t celebrate Halloween.

Also, I didn’t give out any candy because I live in an apartment building that doesn’t have very many kids.

That being said, if I was giving out something, I wouldn’t do something so lame as giving out cards with facts on them. If I did that, kids would rightfully toilet paper me or throw eggs at my door.

If you are going to give something out for Halloween, do it right. Don’t give out fruit or popcorn balls. Fun-sized candy is the baseline. If you give that out, kids won’t hate you, but they also won’t love you. They will just forget you.

What you really want to do is give out full-sized candy bars. Yes, this will cost a bit more, but you will be remembered forever. I can still remember the houses that gave out full-size candy bars decades after I got them.